Dealing With Loss

LOSSES

Where does one begin when it comes to dealing with loss for one who suffers any king of illness. Losses with those dealing with dementia is a traumatic experience for everyone.

Regardless of how we deal with loss, to lose our independence alters out lives forever.

Loss of Employment
My husband's first great loss was his life's work.  He was not functioning  well enough to keep his job long before we actually knew what was happening to him. To go to the office and pack up his books for the last time marked the end of an era that came far too soon.

Loss of Self-Worth
There is nothing that can affect a person's self-worth like not being able to provide for himself or  his family. Steve began to verbalize his sense of self-worthlessness. It was difficult for our family as well as our personal world lacked the knowledge of the deep inner turmoil which was stirring up a storm around us

Loss of Control
Loosing your ability to use your bank card, misdialing numbers, and knowing you are loosing these abilities. He was so aware of what he should be doing but his brain could not handle all the tasks.

Loss of Identity
While our loss of identity is very much related to our career, it affects who we really are as a person and how people relate to us. This is even more visible in one who suffers with dementia.

Loss of Musical Talent
For my husband this was his trade mark. It was part of his identity.  He played in auditoriums across Canada for his church denomination. Today he very seldom can even tap his feet to music. Lewy has taken his ear for music, his reflexes and coordination and locked them away.

Loss of Social Contact
Talk to any caregiver whose loved one has been intruded on with this terrible disease and ask about their social life. Friends for some reason disappear. Even with all the education and exposure to the disease, for the most part, people do not know how to cope. If you have one couple or person who will be there for you, let you vent without judging you are blessed.

Loss of Drivers Licence
It came over time.  First it was driveable and restricted licence. Then came the big blow. It was the lady at the licence registration that took his licence away. He is not one to hold a grudge but he came close on this occasion.
     "We never know what we have until it is lost"